What I didn't know

There were some things I didn't know those first few months I was married and taking the Pill.

Things that, when I learned them, I didn't want to know.

Things that now, I wish I would have known.

#1. I knew the birth control pill prevented ovulation.

What I didn't know: Along with preventing ovulation, I was also making other critical changes to my reproductive organs....most importantly, I was quite deliberately (in action...not in intention since I didn't know) ruining the lining of my uterus. I was making my uterus a "less favorable" place of a new little life to settle in and receive nourishment.

#2. I knew I was preventing "pregnancy".

What I didn't know: In the medical community, especially since the introduction of the Pill, there has been a shift in terminology. Many times, pregnancy is now defined as beginning at the time that the blastocyst (fertilized egg...or as I like to say....baby) implants in the uterus. I was always defining pregnancy as the time that life starts...when the sperm and egg meet. I assumed that everyone was defining it that way.

These new pieces of information came to my attention a few months after my "missed pills/later period" incident.

When I learned these things, I was still not convicted. I continued to take the Pill. I found ways to justify my position.

My main argument was this:
*MY intention in taking the pill was to prevent ovulation, therefore preventing pregnancy. This is WHY I took it. I DON'T take the pill to ruin the lining of my uterus. It is just a *possible* side effect. (Throwing possible in there was to make myself feel better. It is more than possible. Not only has it been proven in several studies....but my own body was proving this side effect in the fact that my periods were VERY light and short after a few months of being on the Pill....why? Because my uterine lining was not thick and healthy, ready to support a growing baby)

*God could protect the baby. I'm not bigger than Him. I figured that IF a baby was conceived that God COULD allow my body to support the baby. (How arrogant of me, huh? Here I was, actively working to keep a little life out of my body...but IF God chose to make one in me anyway,then HE could keep it alive too.)

I fully believed these two arguments. They made sense to me. At the time, they gave me peace about popping those little colored pills in my mouth each day.

Afterall...we were being wise and responsible.

You know.... Babies take time. They take money. They are hard work. Oh yeah. But they are a blessing. Don't forget that part.