Unexplained anxiety

So Ryken was born in July of 2008.

We had our new plan. And it was a good one.

Breastfeeding (and "crossing our fingers [trusting God]"...I say it like that because I was quick to SAY we were "trusting God" on the outside, but I was equally as quick to be "crossing my fingers" in my heart)for 6 months. Then a diaphragm and spermicide.

And so the first 5 months flew by. And it was time to figure things out.

I asked around and found a doctors office that would prescribe a diaphragm. I made my appointment for January...5 1/2 months postpartum.

The day of the appointment came.

I walked into the waiting room and I felt quite uncomfortable. It was strange for me because I don't usually mind doctors appointments. I'm good with just about anything...shots, blood draws, pap smears....they don't make me nervous. And yet. I was nervous. Or maybe anxious. But I didn't know why.

I paid my co-pay. I filled out my new patient forms. I sat and waited.

Finally they called me back. I was taken to a room and I think they even had me undress and sit in a gown. And then the medical assistant came in. She came in and was very apologetic right from the start. Apparently, there was a new type of diaphragm they were going to be prescribing in just a couple of weeks. But they didn't have the new kits to fit the new diaphragms. She told me if they would have realized why I was coming in they would have postponed my appointment. I COULD have them fit the old type and get it for one month, but then I'd have to come back and get re-fitted for the new one. And really they didn't recommend that since the whole purpose of the new one was because they didn't want to use the old one for whatever reason.

So I left. And I felt free.

I told them to call me when the new kits came in and I'd reschedule. I'd already paid my copay for the appointment. And so, I'd face it all again...but I had a little more time.